Food addiction

I have struggled with my weight for my whole life. I was never really a crazy diet  kind of girl. I’m a basic “eat less, move more” kind of girl. It’s simple math as far as I’m concerned. You simply cannot be overweight if you live a life that doesn’t allow it. So.. the understanding is there.
I know the right foods to eat, the foods to ignore or limit.
I know portion sizes.
I know the right mix of cardio and strength training.

Seems like I shouldn’t have a weight problem right?

I even had weight loss surgery in September of 2011. So why the hell am I still overweight?
Because I’m a food addict.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine define addiction as “Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response”.

What does that mean in my situation? It means simply that all the right information in the world doesn’t change my weight or uncontrollable eating. I’m great about working out but you can’t exercise your way out of a bad diet. So just like alcohol or heroin I need to practice sobriety one hour at a time and  just focus on the next right step. I can’t explain to anyone who hasn’t dealt with addiction how hard it is.

I would never imply an eating addiction is equal or worse than any other addiction. But it absolutely brings it’s own problems that make it feel impossible to recover from. It’s disheartening to know that I’ll never beat this. I’ll always have to keep my guard up around food. I’ll always have to fight the urge to react to stress by turning to food.

I guess the point of this post is to just say that while this will be a never ending battle. I’m in it to win it. To stay strong, to stay healthy and focus on how I feel rather than how my scale says I’m doing. This may be a long ass battle, but I’m going to win it. 

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