Sadness

Yesterday was a beloved aunts birthday,  my aunt passed a few years ago (f@ck cancer). The first couple of birthdays were sucker punches you see coming but are powerless to stop. Yesterday I was ok and I thought ok good..finally I made it through a birthday without crying.

Then this morning a picture of her popped in my feed on facebook, and WHAM, I could hear her smile, hear the cute devilish look she would get when being silly. I thought about how incredibly loving and kind and brave she was her whole life.

She hadn’t had a easy life but you wouldn’t know it to talk to her, she was bubbly and optimistic. A constant ray of sunshine, this point is supported by the number of birthday messages that were on her old social media page.

I don’t know what you believe but I know I’m my heart that when you’re missing someone especially hard, God sends little reminders that death is not a final goodbye but rather a see you later. She left behind a huge void and it inspired many to step up the way we love.

Tomorrow I am going on a hike with my family and I am going to make a point to notice the sights and sounds around me. To enjoy the simple pleasure of the day, That will be my birthday present to her. To live my life the way she did, as if it’s precious.

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